I’ve been considering the concept of love marriage and arranged marriage recently. I’m preparing to be married to a man I met and fell in love with. Many people have asked the question, “Which is better, love marriage or arranged marriage?” 

In many countries, love marriage is dominant. I will clarify that “love marriage” means that two people love one another first, and then later have their parents involved for their blessing (though this isn’t always the case). Couples that find love marriage have two typical outcomes in their marriage – either they are fulfilled in the other person and enjoy the rest of their lives with someone that they feel compatible with and love, or their marriage deteriorates and ends in divorce because they find they’re not compatible with person they loved. Finding true love is incredible, but it must be paired with rational compatibility for a successful marriage. It’s not enough to have strong feelings for someone. Your values should match up and you should agree on the important things in your marriage, like children, financial responsibilities and household duties. Arranged marriage seems to be a preferable way to join two young people together because it shows a high level of respect for the opinion of one’s parents. The family’s opinion of the person is much more heavily weighed than in a love marriage. If they know you well, and they know the boy or girl’s family, it makes sense that they can be trusted to find you a suitable mate. Many arranged marriages find a love that builds over time through compatibility, family support and shared values. The problem arises when parents don’t consider their children’s opinion on the chosen spouse, which may lead to marital unhappiness and the young person’s anger being directed at them.

Ideally, you should seek relationships with people of the opposite sex who share the same values and expectations for marriage. If these things are not present, than marriage should not be considered. If your parents are considering arranged marriage, you should tell your parents to look for someone who shares these qualities. They love you and want you to be happy, so letting them know what kind of boy or girl you are looking for will help guide them in their search. If you find the person you want to marry through love, I’d urge you also to consider your parent’s opinion on that person. They want to be a part of this special time in your life and to do their part to ensure your happiness. And, finally, don’t settle for less than you deserve. You will spend the rest of your life with this person, so keep your expectations high and hold out for someone that compliments you in every regard.

- By Kendra